What we really need from you...

This week more programs have been announced to help military families. Because. You know. We need more programs. Honestly, there are so MANY programs for military families right now, they overlap left and right. Families get confused on what programs are available and how to access the right program for them.  I am certain, yes, certain, that many of these programs go underutilitized.

Are there programs that need to be put in place to fill gaps? Yes. Are there programs that could be eliminated? Yes. Yes. Yes. But let's make sure not to put the program band-aid on the bigger problem. The problem no one really wants to address. The problem that no one seems to want to solve.

President Obama says he asked Special Forces members in Afghanistan last year "What do you need from me?" Their response was, "Sir, take care of our families."

What did they mean by that response? Mental health counseling. Job support. Post-military support. Quite honestly, it could mean something different for every military family. For some, it is better medical care. For others, it's better education for their special needs family member. Or some want better quality housing. The list could be endless.

But I think it is also good to look at why these soldiers were asking the government to take care of their families. The reason they said it was because they are not home. They are not there to take care of their families. So maybe it was more of "Take care of my family because...

• this is my fourth deployment and we are close to our breaking point.
• I don't know if I will be able to when I get back.
• my kids don't even know what it's like to have me home anymore.
• I don't know when I will be home, if I will go home, how long I will be home.

So maybe President Obama would have been better served to ask those soldiers, "How long have you been away from your family? How many times have you deployed? Will you have a family to go back to? Do you know how to go back?"

But no one wants to ask those questions. Because then they would have to face the truth: programs cannot replace the person who stands behind that gun, drives that truck, fixes the bones and faces, the person who used to tuck her son into bed, go to his daughter's dance recitals, the person who kissed his wife.

Yes, they are in the military. But they are also human. And you cannot replace 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 years away with programs. It is a far second best. The first best is something the government has yet to give military families a real answer on...