When the protesters stop showing up... it's time that we do

During my husband's first deployment, I wrote a letter to the editor of our local newspaper. The letter spoke to my outrage over Cindy Sheehan's use of crosses with soldier's names on them as part of her demonstrations against the war. My issue: that the crosses made the dead soldiers unwilling protesters on her behalf. At the time, I felt it was important for me not to mention that my husband was deployed and in the military. I wanted people to feel my point of view came from a place of neutrality on the topic. I did not want to cloud the issue with "me being military."

Fast forward to the ten year anniversary of the start of the war in Afghanistan and the release of a new study by the Pew Research Center.

October 7, 2001: Probably not a date many people remember but I'm guessing most military families remember what they were doing that day. Personally, I was glued to the television watching President Bush announce that an air campaign had begun in Afghanistan. If you were a military family, life was about to change.

October 7, 2011: Probably not a date many people remember but I'm guessing most military families remember where their servicemember is today. We are defined by deployments: home or not home. Close to coming home. Close to leaving from home. Today, I was at the gym on an elliptical watching the coverage of the Occupy Wall Street protests as a message scrolled across the bottom of the television screen: "10 Year Anniversary of War in Afghanistan marked by little commemoration."

Well, I didn't expect people pulling out all of the stops... maybe a commemorative news piece or two (which they did), but I thought (at least) the protesters would show up. Well, maybe not too many people have a stake in caring that much about war....

According to a study that was released yesterday by the Pew Research Center:

The nation's post-9/11 wars have been fought by an all-volunteer active-duty military made up at any given time of just one half of one percent of the U.S. population. More than eight-in-ten (84%) of these modern-era veterans say the American public has little or no understanding of the problems that those in the military face. Most of the public (71%) agrees. Many Americans also acknowledge that since the 9/11 attacks, the military and their families have made more sacrifices than the public at large.

The study went on to say that military and their families don't see this gap as being unfair. Instead, they see it as "part of being in the military."

After ten years, the war protests have dwindled. Cindy Sheehan even gave up. Today, on the 10 year anniversary, war protests don't even take top billing having been mixed in with the whole corporate greed demonstrations. Gone are the women in pink who used to dominate the headlines with their creative protests. They have moved on to other causes... war is now headlined as "Bring Our War Dollars Home." Based on that, I guess whether our husbands and wives come home intact really doesn't matter.

People used to get mad (maybe some still get mad) at those bumper stickers that said, "Endless War." I don't see many of those these days. There have been a million variations but maybe if they made one that said, "Endless Deployment," would military families be running out to buy them?

The answer is: no.

Why?

I go back to my editorial. I did not write that I was the wife of a servicemember. At the time, I thought I did not want to muddy the waters. But if I really want to admit it: it was because, as military families, it is an unsaid rule that we don't talk "shop." That's why Cindy Sheehan was so despised. She was one of "us." A military mother. She was protesting the war after her son had honorably served as a soldier and had given the ultimate sacrifice. She was dishonoring his service by her protests.

And that is why, years after Sheehan's protests started and stopped, I think this study by Pew is so profound:

...the overwhelming majority of veterans of the post-9/11 era (96%) are proud of their military service.

(And...)

While post-9/11 veterans are more supportive than the general public, just one-third (34%) say that, given the costs and benefits to the U.S., the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq have both been worth fighting.

To me, this was shocking. And worth listening to. These are the people who have sacrificed the most for these wars. They didn't just sit in a drum circle singing about "Bringing War Dollars Home."

Think of it this way:

(Insert a big wig military person, the President, etc...) going out to soldiers and asking them: "Hey, what do you think of these wars?" The soldier says, "I fight them, sir. And I'm going to do my best and do what is asked of me. I am a soldier. I will fight and die for my country. Hooah."

But now, our veterans have said: "I fought them, sir. I did my best and did what was asked of me. I am still a soldier. I fought and watched my fellow soldiers die for this country. But now, I don't know, was it worth it? We're still fighting. Is it still worth it?"

By nature, military families are a very proud group of people. Proud of our servicemembers. Proud of our community. Proud of our soldiers' service to our nation. This study is important. I hope our leaders listen to it because if the protesters aren't showing up anymore to keep the conversation going... then we, as a community, better start showing up to make sure people are still talking, still caring, still understanding the sacrifices that are being made.

...almost 70,000 troops will remain in a volatile country after that as the United States continues its withdrawal and its shift of security control to Afghan forces through 2014.