3 Things I Wish I Had Learned As A Young (er) Military Spouse

Awhile back I was pontificating on Twitter:

I wish someone would have told me as a young #milspouse how small the military world would eventually get...

That got me thinking: what else did I wish I had known as a young (er) military spouse? Well, to start:

Sometimes 'ya just got to smile and nod: Truth is, not everyone wants your opinion. And sometimes, even when they ask you what your opinion is, they still really don't want your opinion. This applies in many areas of military life such as comment cards from housing, some FRG meetings that go on longer than an hour and ICE forms that dissolve into an error message when you submit them. However, if you are anxious to have your opinion frequently heard, there is one group of individuals who will hunt you down to hear it: the military medical system. As a matter of fact, they will send you a letter in the mail after every one of your appointments with your provider asking your opinion. (I know: you thought you were special) Sometimes even 2 letters. Leaving me to wonder who the heck is paying for all of these mailings and, if they really take into account the responses they received from me to these letters, why am I still receiving them which goes back to my original point.

Pick your battles: You can wear yourself out trying to fight all of the "issues." Let me sum this up with a little tale of one new military spouse living on Fort Benning trying to make a photocopy on post. A new military spouse who went from building to building trying to find a working copier, then a working fax. Waiting in lines. Stunned by everyone's inexplicable indifference for functioning machines. My head, oops, I mean the head of the spouse was ready to pop off of her body trying to understand the culture that would perpetuate this madness. I'm not saying that I still don't get worked up (ahem) but I get worked up about a whole lot less. I try to remember, if I get worked up about everything, the stuff I really care about changing: gets lost. This is a point I think needs to be digested by a lot of people who shout about every single article that has the word "military" and "cuts" in the headline.

And, yes, I wish someone had told me:

How small the military world would eventually get: You will run into the person you gossiped about two duty stations ago. Yes, the same person who you shared a wall with one duty station ago. Whose dog barked incessantly. Who you had a screaming match with in the front lawn over the dog who barked too much and the shared wall. Through which you could hear everything. Hypothetically speaking of course. You see, the laws of military life dictate that the more of a falling out you've had, the more likely you'll be reunited. I just wish the same rule applied to those really awesome friends you want to have as neighbors and near-by friends. You can take this little nugget and do with it what you will... even if it is to hesitate when you hit "post" on Facebook.

Yes, these are not the warm fuzzies of military life, but the stuff I wish I had taken to heart a little earlier in this journey. What do you wish you had learned earlier?

(PS/Please don't use the word "seasoned" in your post. It causes me to have an allergic reaction.)