Military Family Perks (and why they are vital)

Notoriously, military spouses get asked: How do you do it?

"It" is: deployments, moving, reintegrating, deployments and moving. And parenting through it all.

As I was driving my daughter to preschool (because all of my great thoughts come when I'm driving and can't write anything down) I asked myself: How do we do it?

My first thought was: help.

Coming in the form of relatives and friends. And, even though our relationships are a large part of how we get through "it" I realized, when I was driving back from preschool, we are able to do everything because we have an infrastructure that aims to take away some of the burden of living military life. And a part of that infrastructure is: benefits.

Sometimes civilian friends will be in awe of our free medical. Or drop off childcare. The way the military pays for the entire move. Or the military discounts at restaurants, museums, attractions. Space A travel. Discounted hotels. Yes, there are a lot of "perks" to military life.

But it is because of these benefits or perks that we can do "it." That's what I realized when I was driving home from preschool. I had been asked to fill out some forms to help discount my daughter's preschool. There was a new program to help military families with childcare. The program aims at helping military families get access to better care so military spouses can work or go to school.

So, to the casual observer or at least many a commenter on online articles or social networking sites, it may seem like there are a lot of programs or "perks" that are given to military families - the reality is: these things allow us to do "it."

We move so much that by the time we find a good sitter we are moving again. Enter: a free membership to SitterCity. We spend a lot of extra money each time we move, setting up, painting (yet again), installing new phones, buying stuff to make our home work. Enter: a military discount at a local hardware store. Drop off hourly childcare? That's how I was able to get my business started. Deployment programs and support systems aside, these perks bring us to the starting point of normal life.

Yes, we get a lot. But we also give a lot. And to make "it" happen without us falling apart, these programs, these perks, need to remain in place. I hope there will be some common sense with the cuts that are coming to the everyday government programs that help military families. I hope they ask us what makes a difference. I hope they will remember how we are able to make military life possible. And I sincerely thank all of the private businesses and individuals that offer that discount, give their time to programs and work for our military families. You are what helps us make military life possible.

So, in answer to that question: How do you do it?

I guess the simple answer should be: You help us do it.